I had a read over the blog, and reviewed a little of what I've been up to for the past five weeks... what have I been doing with that $1800!

The first thing I notice is that I'm eating a lot of food.  A lot.  This can only be nerves, stemming from the housing situation.  Part of that is triggered by tiredness, and tiredness definitely begets hunger.

All in all, the food I've been eating is pretty good.  The vices have been popcorn at the Abbey, the occasional dessert there, and some Marmite explorations.  At least I've been spending my money on halfway-decent food!

The next thing I notice is that I'm drinking a lot of alcohol.  A lot.  The reasons are the same as those for the food consumption, but here I find there's a little more urgency in effecting a change.  Alcohol is poison, after all.

I didn't have a drink today and I didn't miss it.  I have no physical addiction to the stuff, but it's fulfilling a lazy need in my life.

The next thing I notice is that I've been doing a fair amount in these weeks!  Tutoring, dating, music-making.  Long philosophical conversations.  Heading back into the world of programming.  Studying calculus online, reading Einstein's book on relativity.  Stepping back into a leadership role in Voices of Gotham.  Exploring Chopin, Granados, and Bach, and reaching new levels of technical ability at the piano.  Talking with Jamie on a regular basis.  Watching new TV.  It's all very exciting!

But at the same time, it's frighteningly disorganized.  Every day is a random blast of my energy into the world.  Of course stuff gets done, but it's unfocussed.  All the food I'm eating, all the alcohol I'm drinking, and most importantly, all the stuff I'm not doing (studying opera scores, orchestral score reading, languages, exercise), is due to this unstructured approach to life.

I can't say I'm unhappy or dissatisfied.  Life is really good these days.  But I recognize that this is an exhausting and destructive way to live.  (Having a girlfriend would help, but there are none of those on the horizon.)

For the rest of October, I would like to do a mandatory 30-minute quiet time each day.  Either in the morning or the evening.  During this time  —like Morgan's mantra!— ,  I want to remind myself to go slow that day.  If I can, I'd like to also set a small, uncomfortable goal, like playing a Bach fugue instead of a Chopin prelude, or fasting, or doing some exercise, etc.

I'll keep track of my daily quiet-times in a Google doc, and we'll check in again at the end of the month.

I'm looking forward to having a little more time in the driver's seat.  :)